As the majority of the core “My Golden Life” viewers continues to blame Seo Ji An for Choi Do Kyung’s current struggle with life, it would be good to view the situation from a different angle. Despite loving Choi Do Kyung from the depth of her heart, Seo Ji An can’t accept his heart. He gave her one last chance and then it would be over once and for all. This was the final ultimatum he presented to her. It didn’t work out as Choi Do Kyung wished for. Seo Ji An insisted on her refusal by just nodding her head. She has a very good reason for her refusal, but Choi Do Kyung fails to understand Seo Ji An. Why?
Seo Ji An’s dislike for the chaebol world started when she lost her opportunity to become a regular at Haesung Group to Yoon Ha Jung who was parachuted through connections. Their catfight is still one of my favorite scenes.
Then when she was forced to kneel down for chaebol ladies in the parking garage of a department store, because of a misunderstanding. She was dismissed from her part time job nevertheless.
After she had entered the Haesung Group family, she became a regular, because she was parachuted herself as the missed chaebol daughter
Choi Eun Suk, although the family had packed it in a credible story and
Seo Ji An kept the name under which she was known.
This kind of dislike is to overcome when you fall in love with a chaebol son, because it is not mixed with fear yet.
When did fear start to root in Seo Ji An?
The moment Seo Ji An found out her mother had lied that she was
Choi Eun Suk, she wanted to tell Noh Myung Hee right away and ask for forgiveness. However. that same moment she watched how
Noh Myung Hee humiliated the lady who had leaked the news that
Choi Eun Suk had been found. On top of that, Choi Seo Hyun told
Seo Ji An this lady still was lucky. Another employee who had betrayed the loyalty of Haesung Group experienced that the whole family was robbed of their jobs and were left with nothing. That moment Seo Ji An didn’t have the courage to confess anymore and started to think of another solution.
The moment Seo Ji An couldn’t avoid anymore to tell the truth and wanted to ask Choi Do Kyung to side her as he had promised her as part of a deal they had made together, but earlier than the end of the 40th Anniversary Event, he let her down again. Pointing out she was no match for him and the kiss they had exchanged was nothing more than a kiss. She didn’t even get the chance to tell why she had wanted to meet with him!
Then Seo Ji An started to suffer from mental breakdowns. The first one occurred, when Choi Jae Sung confronted her with the result of the DNA test he had taken on her. She wasn’t able and even given the chance to tell her own story. She knew she wasn’t Choi Eun Suk and when she became aware she wasn’t Choi Eun Suk didn’t matter at all. Seo Ji An was treated badly and kicked out of the house in a way which left nothing to guess.
The second mental breakdown occurred, when she saw how Choi Jae Sung was beating up Seo Tae Soo out of anger. This image was more than
Seo Ji An could bear and made her turn away from Seo parents’ house.
The third mental breakdown occurred, when Seo Ji Soo didn’t gave
Seo Ji An a chance to tell her why she hadn’t informed her immediately about the lie, but slapped her right away.
This was the moment Seo Ji An disappeared, more death than alive, and made the decision to end her life. She felt responsible for everything what has happened to the people she dearly loved and couldn’t live with the realization that there was nothing she could do to reverse it.
Although Seo Ji An was saved from her attempt to suicide and returned to Seoul with the help of her good friend Sun Woo Hyuk, her dislike of the chaebol world and the fear for the Haesung Group in particular, had so deeply rooted itself in her that a relationship with Choi Do Kyung was out of the question.
Choi Do Kyung knows what Seo Ji An had told his mother, but he doesn’t know how his mother has threated Seo Ji An and her family again, if she would ever dare to go near her son. The way on how Noh Myung Hee insisted mother Seo should tell Seo Ji An she is no longer working for Haesung Group in the restaurant anymore, when she came to pay her the last salary, is one more hidden thread to remind Seo Ji An of what she is capable of to do.
Choi Do Kyung is aware that fear plays a role in Seo Ji An’s refusal to accept his heart, although she had confessed her love to him. However, he fails to understand how justified Seo Ji An’s fear for his family is.
Haesung Group has the money and the power to destroy the lives of all who dare to oppose them. Choi Do Kyung can’t protect Seo Ji An and her family against his family. He can’t even protect himself against them, because he lacks money, power and connections. As long as
Choi Do Kyung doesn’t realize this, he will never be able to understand why Seo Ji An continues to say “no” to him.
Mutual understanding is a must when opposing Haesung Group together. Only then love can overcome fear.
Credit: KBS Drama, thank you!